5 Ways to Have Fun as a Single during Cuffing Season

Y’all it’s cuffing season, and for singles around the world this time of year is…not very fun. Couples walk around holding hands, drinking cocoa, proposing on snowy nights, giggling on ice rinks, bombarding holiday parties!..Even advertisements for cozy blankets and chic winter styles turn into advertisements for “things to buy for him/her” and the saturation of all environments with mistletoes is insane. Like, can’t you hang up fresh garland? Aren’t mistletoes expensive?

I’m mostly kidding, but being single this time of year can feel kinda lonely, so as the veteran single girl. <- That’s sad, I’m never using that again. As the writer of this blog, i’m going to share five ways to have a joyful, single, winter season… no S/O, or winter fling necessary.

  1. Go and drink all of the hot beverages, and look like you came out of a magazine with your mittens and earmuffs, and steamy cocoa.  Do you see the joy in these people’s faces as they drink their hot beverages in peace? Yea, you do. And people don’t interrupt your beverage bliss when you look like that either…just saying. You might wanna do this as often as possible.

    2. Read a new book. Cuffing season for me, is also midterm and final season. Isn’t it nice that those two highly emotional seasons run side bcool-reading-books-factsy side? So nice. In the midst of all of that madness, nine times out of ten I don’t have time to read, not even my textbooks. But if I cut Facebook from my daily agenda, I could finish a book a week and wake up smarter everyday! Here’s the thing, reading has some serious benefits. It can increase your vocabulary, improve your ability to focus, improve your memory…the possibilities are endless, and great. Why not spend your time doing something that cool? YOu know, Oprah reads… and she’s Oprah. So, you know.

 

 3. Go try something new! Go to a haunted house with some friends, or go to some networking mixers, and holiday parties. Learn how to ice skate. Go swimming while the local rec pools aren’t too full, take advantage of all of the free art galleries, restaurant specials, and baked goods. Make some more friends, join a book club! Y’all the amount of parties and free things that happen in the winter are overwhelming. Take advantage of that! If you’re going it alone though, be safe. Let someone know where you are, who you will be with…etc.  But do something fun!

4. Pamper yo-self. I think that a lot of the time there is an assumption that single women choose not to “groom” themselves in the winter. Like, you don’t have to shave therefore you don’t, you don’t need to wear makeup, so you don’t… ya-da ya-da… I know that there are a lot of things wrong with that concept but I hear it quite a bit from my boo’ed up friends. “At least you don’t have to shave!” Well, it’s true, I don’t have to, I mean… you don’t either but, if I want to I do. Winter is a time to treat your body like you treasure it, inside and out, you know? Vegetables now come in all of these delicious soups, fall nail colors are out, and what feels better than a hot shower at the end of a cold day? Very few things, with no matchy color schemes to cater to, and no pressing dates with your shaving razor, you can go wild.

5. Finally, spend some time giving back. During winter there are an abundance of volunteer opportunities and clothing drives. Giving back is something that’s wonderful all of the time, but winter is a good time to try it out if you haven’t already. Organizations like, Angel Tree force you to consider someone else’s needs above your own by picking out a good gift for a kids whose parent, or parents may be incarcerated. At your local soup kitchens you can learn about life from people who may view it differently from you. There are so many cool opportunities to spend time considering other people during this season. Try some of them out!

Your winter season should be one that you enjoy. It is literally the season in which natural things are being restored. Trees and plants, and bears:), have all run their cycle  through the year into fall and are getting prepared to bloom. You need time too, you’re in the process of blooming. Keep preparing, get more comfortable with yourself, drink lots of hot beverages, treat yourself, appreciate where you are, how you’ve grown, reflect on where you want to be, and enjoy the season.

There’s this cool bible verse about preparedness too, which we’ll talk about more later, but long story short. The guests (virgins) who were prepared by bringing extra oil did not have to go find more oil, so they were ready when the bridegroom came to get them, they just went to celebrate. One of the morals of this story is to be ready ahead of time for what you expect to come.

Matthew 25:1-46 ESV 

“Then the kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were foolish, and five were wise. For when the foolish took their lamps, they took no oil with them, but the wise took flasks of oil with their lamps. As the bridegroom was delayed, they all became drowsy and slept. …

Til next time!

SingleLady

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Celebrating Small Victories

It used to be that I would walk into a room full of guys and immediately assess each one’s “date-ability”. Seriously, for a while that’s all that I thought guys were good for, dating and flirting. Subconsciously, I thought they we’re all checking for me too, so I would get all these shy butterflies thinking a cute guy in class was looking at me when in fact, he was looking at the last classes notes. Talking to guys used to make me nervous too because I always thought they were checking for me, when they may not have been. This anxiety y’all was powerful and pitiful. Ever since my sophomore year of college…okay, maybe freshman year, every guy was a potential in my head and at the time, this was logical. I mean, according to circa 90’s Disney Channel, everyone’s just trying to find love right?! Wrong, thankfully.

Today was one of the first days that I can remember in the last few days that I sat in a room full of guys, relaxed and actually had a good time. Like, no pressure fun. And y’all, it was so great! I laughed like a nerd, I danced around, I was comfortable in my body, I cracked jokes and it helped create an environment that was comfortable for everyone and it was baller. Of a room of maybe 15 guys I was only really making awkward eyes at one, and that was just because he kept chatting me up and it was late, and I was unable to answer simple questions, and he just didn’t get my sense of humor which…is unfortunate for him because I’m hilarious. Anyway, here is to celebrating small victories! I think that the barrier of my desire to be perceived as dateable, and always checking for a significant other have been one of the things that has kept me from being myself in front of others and that’s just not good.  Sometimes I think back and I realize what cool relationships I could’ve had if I hadn’t tried to turn them into more than friendships, and it reminds me of why this moment is good. It’s teaching me that I can have fulfilling platonic relationships with men that are as fun as my relationships with my female friends. I’m so excited to see what kind of friendships this will bring. So, here’s to new friends and small victories.

I’m thanking God for this growth y’all!

 

Signed,

Single Lady

It’s Easy To Be Single When You Have No Options

I told myself I would be fine just being friends with a bunch of guys, but when they get flirty?! Crap.

I’m good, but still fragile. I thought I was going to get through this semester without swooning over the next prince charming or getting frustrated about late texts, but alas. We’re here. It is easier to be single without options…can I get a Yes?!

If no guys are pursuing me, it’s easy to feel content being single in that, but if they are pursuing you… it’s a different story. I just want to take a few chances, I shouldn’t but I want to.

(internal dialogue)

SINGLE SINGLE SINGLE HAPPILY SINGLE NOT FLIRTING NOT HOLLERING JUST BE CHILL. Is this fool gonna text me back?

 

Signed,

Single and Sad about it, today.